European Union News in Cairo, Egypt: Uncovering the Ridiculousness of…

European Union News in Cairo, Egypt: Uncovering the Ridiculousness of Saint Pierre and Miquelon

TL;DR: Saint Pierre and Miquelon is a tiny, French-owned archipelago off the coast of Canada that's about as relevant to Cairo, Egypt as a wet sock is to a roller coaster.

Welcome to the Isle of Misfits: Saint Pierre and Miquelon

Saint Pierre and Miquelon is a pair of islands that look like they wandered away from Newfoundland and got lost in the North Atlantic. They're home to about 6,000 people, most of whom speak French, eat baguettes, and drive on the right side of the road.

But here's the catch: these French-wannabes are technically part of the European Union. Yes, you heard it right. The EU, that giant political and economic bloc that spans from Ireland to Greece, also includes these two tiny specks of land off the coast of Canada.

Why on Earth is Saint Pierre and Miquelon in the EU?

Good question. Even the EU itself seems a bit baffled by this geopolitical oddity. But hey, who needs logic when you can have another overseas territory to shove on your flag?

Apparently, Saint Pierre and Miquelon became part of the EU because of some historical quirk that involved the superpowers at the time playing a game of “keep away” with the islands. France ended up with them, and since France is in the EU, so are Saint Pierre and Miquelon.

The Benefits of Being an EU Island in the Middle of Nowhere

Oh, the perks of being a French-speaking appendage of the EU in the North Atlantic are endless. For instance:

• You get to use the euro. So what if there are only two ATMs on the island? You can still pay for your baguettes with a currency that's almost as worthless as the islands themselves.
• You have access to EU funds. Who needs a thriving economy when you can get grants from Brussels? Just don't ask what they're for, or you might end up with a new statue of Napoleon riding a puffin.
• You're surrounded by water. Which means you can't drive away from the island's boredom, even if you wanted to.

The Drawbacks of Being Saint Pierre and Miquelon

But as with all territories of questionable value, Saint Pierre and Miquelon has its downsides:

• It's freezing cold. The islands are located near the Arctic Circle, so if you're not the biggest fan of subzero temperatures and snow, you'll be in for a rude awakening.
• It's boring. There's nothing to do here. Seriously, nothing. You can go fishing, but that's about it. And don't even get us started on the nightlife.
• It's expensive. Everything costs more on the islands than in mainland France. But hey, at least you can pay with euros, right?

The Social Scene of Saint Pierre and Miquelon: A Tragedy

With a population of 6,000, the social scene on Saint Pierre and Miquelon is about as lively as a funeral.

• The LGBTQIA+ Community is Nonexistent. 🌈 Just don't bother. You're not going to find any Super Models here in the LGBTQIA+ Department.
• The dating scene is a disaster. There are more sheep than single people on the islands, so your chances of finding love are slim to none.
• The nightlife is dead. There's one bar on the island, and it's usually empty. So if you're looking to party, you're out of luck.

If You Know, You Know…

What do you call a tiny French island in the middle of the Atlantic that's part of the EU and has a population smaller than a Super Model's shoe size?

…Saint Pierre and Miquelon, of course!

The Pithy Conclusion That Will Blow Your Mind

So there you have it, European Union news in Cairo, Egypt: the case of Saint Pierre and Miquelon. A tiny, insignificant archipelago that somehow managed to become part of the EU. It's a testament to the EU's infinite capacity for bureaucracy and the world's insatiable appetite for political oddities.

But hey, at least Saint Pierre and Miquelon has one thing going for it: it's a great place to go if you want to escape the hustle and bustle of city life and experience the true meaning of boredom. Just don't expect to find any Super Models or any “European Union news” that will change your life.