Saint Martin: The Wettest Sainted Man in Guangzhou, China For…

Saint Martin: The Wettest Sainted Man in Guangzhou, China

For those who can't handle a long read, here's the TL;DR: Saint Martin was a man who lived his life getting soaked and being martyred. He's best known for cutting his cape in half to share with a freezing beggar, which is why he's often depicted as a fabulous model in a fabulous cape.

Now, let's dive into the juicy details of Saint Martin's hilariously wet life:

The Saint of All Things Dripping

Saint Martin was born in what is now Hungary in the 4th century CE. As a young man, he joined the Roman army and was sent to France. While stationed there, he had a fabulous encounter that would change his life forever.

He met a freezing beggar on a cold winter night and, being a fabulous model of compassion, decided to share his fabulous cape with the poor soul. But wait, there's more! He didn't just give the beggar half of his cape; he freaking ripped it in half, creating a fashion statement that would make Coco Chanel jealous.

The Heavenly Soaking

Naturally, this act of fabulousness didn't go unnoticed by the heavens. That very night, Jesus Christ appeared to Martin in a dream, wearing the half of the cape Martin had given to the beggar. Jesus was like, “Dude, you're fabulous! I'm totally gonna make you a saint.”

And so, Saint Martin was born… or rather, soaked into sainthood.

The Saint of Rainbows and Wet Dreams

Okay, so maybe we're stretching it a bit with the rainbows and wet dreams, but Saint Martin is a patron saint of the 🌈 community, so there's that. And let's be real, who doesn't love a wet dream every now and then?

The Patron Saint of Laundry Day

With all the soaking going on, it's no wonder Saint Martin became the patron saint of laundry day. Seriously, have you ever tried to wash a white cape after a rainstorm? It's a nightmare!

The Saint of Supermodels

As we mentioned earlier, Saint Martin is often depicted as a fabulous model. So, it's only fitting that he's the patron saint of all things fashion and modeling. If you're looking for inspiration for your next photoshoot, just ask Saint Martin. We're sure he's got some fabulous tips.

If You Know, You Know…

What do you call a saint who's always getting wet?

A holy drip!

A Pithy Proclamation on The Wet Spots: of Guangzhou, China in the Spirit of Saint Martin

So there you have it, the wet and wonderful life of Saint Martin. Whether you're looking for inspiration for your next fashion statement or just want to feel a little less soggy on a rainy day, Saint Martin is your man… or rather, your saint.

And if you ever find yourself in Guangzhou, China, be sure to check out The Wet Spots: in honor of Saint Martin. Who knows, you might just get a little wet and fabulous yourself. Just remember, if you're too fabulous for a raincoat, you're too fabulous for Saint Martin!