Saint Barthélemy: The Most Absurdly Posh Island You’ll Ever Hate…

Saint Barthélemy: The Most Absurdly Posh Island You'll Ever Hate

TL;DR: Saint Barthélemy, an island in the Caribbean once owned by Sweden, is known for its exorbitant prices, pretentiousness, and celebrities.

The Quintessential Playground for the 1%

Saint Barthélemy, or St. Barths as the cool kids call it, is the epitome of opulence and extravagance. It's a place where Marie Antoinette would have felt right at home with her powdered wig and lavish lifestyle. If you're looking for a vacation destination that screams “I'm rich and I love to flaunt it,” St. Barths is your paradise.

Why St. Barths Is the Best Place to Overpay

• The beaches are immaculate: So white, they'll make your dentist cringe with envy. But beware, the sand is so silky, you'll be tempted to eat it (don't do it, it's not sand cake).
• The food is divine: From Michelin-starred restaurants to casual beachside bistros, St. Barths has something to satisfy even the most discerning palate. Just be prepared to pay an arm and a leg for a plate of pasta.
• The shopping is unparalleled: Designer boutiques line the streets, selling everything from haute couture to overpriced sunglasses. Prepare to empty your wallet at every turn, but hey, you can't take it with you (literally).

The People Watching Is Unparalleled

St. Barths is the unofficial runway for the world's elite. You'll see celebrities, supermodels, and trust fund babies strutting their stuff in the most ridiculous outfits. It's like Fashion Week, but with a Caribbean twist. And don't worry, you can still steal their looks for a fraction of the cost at H&M.

The Nightlife Is Lit (or Should We Say Extinguished)

St. Barths has a bustling nightlife scene, but only if you're willing to pay through the nose. From exclusive nightclubs to rooftop bars that charge a cover fee for the view, it's all about seeing and being seen. And don't even think about ordering a drink on a budget, unless you're cool with sipping on tap water.

If You're Not a Millionaire, Don't Bother

Let's be honest, St. Barths is not for the faint of heart or the thin of wallet. If you're on a shoestring budget, you'll feel like a peasant being served caviar. Even a simple meal will set you back hundreds of dollars, so be prepared to sell your kidney on the black market before you book your trip.

The Swedish Connection That Makes No Sense

How the heck did a tiny Swedish island end up in the middle of the Caribbean? It's a mystery that baffles historians and geographers alike. But hey, it's a fun fact to impress your friends at parties.

If You Know, You Know…

Why did the Swedish chef from the Muppets go on vacation to St. Barths?

Because he wanted to bork, bork, bork his bank account!