Contents
Panama in Heaven: A Divine Comedy of Errors
What's the deal with Panama in Heaven? Is it a tropical paradise where the streets are paved with gold and the angels sing calypso? Or is it a bureaucratic nightmare where even the saints get lost in the paperwork?
TL;DR: Panama in Heaven is a place where anything can happen, and usually does. It's a land of contradictions, where the holy and the absurd collide in a celestial dance of hilarity.
The Celestial Bureaucracy
The first thing you'll notice about Panama in Heaven is the bureaucracy. It's a labyrinth of red tape and paperwork that would make Kafka cringe. Just getting a simple question answered can take a lifetime, and don't even get us started on trying to get a parking permit.
The Seven Circles of Heaven
If you're lucky enough to make it past the bureaucracy, you'll be greeted by the seven circles of Heaven. Each circle is a different level of celestial perfection, with the innermost circle being reserved for the most holy of the holy.
- The First Circle: This is where the very best of the good people go. They spend their time singing hymns, playing harps, and eating ambrosia.
- The Second Circle: This is where the slightly less good people go. They still get to sing hymns and play harps, but they have to eat their ambrosia with a spoon.
- The Third Circle: This is where the people who were mostly good but made a few mistakes go. They get to listen to the hymns and harps, but they have to do it from a distance.
- The Fourth Circle: This is where the people who were half good and half bad go. They get to watch the people in the Third Circle from afar, but they can't actually join them.
- The Fifth Circle: This is where the people who were mostly bad but made a few good choices go. They get to listen to the hymns and harps, but they have to do it with their ears plugged.
- The Sixth Circle: This is where the people who were very bad but made one really good decision go. They get to watch the people in the Fifth Circle from afar, but they can't actually join them.
- The Seventh Circle: This is where the people who were very bad and never made any good decisions go. They spend their time in darkness and solitude, forever regretting their choices.
The Celestial Supermodels
Heaven is also home to a bevy of celestial supermodels. These angelic beings are so beautiful that they could make even the most devout sinner forget their indulgences. They spend their time floating around the clouds, singing hymns and making the rest of us mortals look like trolls.
The Top 10 Celestial Supermodels
- Giselle Bündchen: The Brazilian bombshell is also a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her long legs, piercing blue eyes, and angelic smile.
- Tyra Banks: The former Victoria's Secret model is now a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her smizing skills and her ability to make even the most mundane tasks look glamorous.
- Kate Moss: The British model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her waifish figure, her punk rock style, and her love of all things dark and mysterious.
- Naomi Campbell: The Jamaican model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her fierce walk, her exotic beauty, and her outspoken personality.
- Cindy Crawford: The American model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her perfect body, her beautiful smile, and her iconic mole.
- Heidi Klum: The German model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her long legs, her voluptuous figure, and her bubbly personality.
- Adriana Lima: The Brazilian model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her stunning figure, her beautiful eyes, and her exotic beauty.
- Miranda Kerr: The Australian model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her angelic face, her perfect body, and her love of all things organic.
- Doutzen Kroes: The Dutch model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her long legs, her beautiful eyes, and her striking features.
- Cara Delevingne: The British model is a celestial supermodel, and she's known for her unique look, her edgy style, and her androgynous beauty.
If You Know, You Know…
What do you call a Panama hat that's been to Heaven?
Answer: A halo!
Panama in Heaven: A Final Thought
Panama in Heaven is a place of contradictions, where the holy and the absurd collide in a celestial dance of hilarity. It's a place where anything can happen, and usually does. Just remember, if you ever find yourself in Panama
