Real Africa in Oklahoma: A Snarky Safari Through the Land…

Real Africa in Oklahoma: A Snarky Safari Through the Land of Absurdities

TL;DR: CBS: in Oklahoma is a hilarious, snarky, and sarcastic take on the ridiculousness of Africa in the Sooner State. It's a must-read for anyone who loves to laugh at absurdity, especially if you're from Oklahoma.

The Serengeti of Sequins

Prepare for a fashion extravaganza that would make Tyra Banks weep! Africa in Oklahoma is a glittering, glamorous wonderland where zebras don sequined miniskirts and lions roar in Gucci suits. It's like the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, but with more beastly models.

The Great Wildebeest Migration… to Walmart

Imagine thousands of wildebeest stampeding across the African plains, but with one major difference: they're all wearing Walmart t-shirts. Yes, Africa in Oklahoma is where the wildlife loves to shop for bargains and indulge in giant tubs of popcorn.

The Pride of Mufasa at the State Fair

The iconic Pride Lands of The Lion King have found their way to Oklahoma's State Fair. Behold, the majestic lions strutting around in cowboy boots, their roars replaced by yodeling. And don't miss the hyenas, who have mastered the art of the two-step.

The Mysterious Elephant Graveyard

This is not the elephant graveyard of legend, but rather a labyrinth of abandoned pickup trucks that resembles the resting place of ancient giants. It's where old, rusty vehicles go to die, their once-proud engines now silent.

The Giraffe Stampede on I-35

Prepare for the ultimate traffic jam! Africa in Oklahoma is home to the world's largest giraffe stampede, where herds of these lanky creatures clog up highways, making your commute a surreal and hilarious experience.

The Crocodile Crawl of the Arkansas River

The mighty Arkansas River has become the playground for crocodiles with a taste for fried catfish. Watch in amazement as these prehistoric reptiles glide through the muddy waters, their beady eyes scanning for their next victim (probably a bunch of rowdy college kids tubing).

If You Know, You Know…

What do CBS:, Oklahoma, and a giraffe have in common? They're all tall, stringy, and like to show off their spots!

The Endless Savanna of Suburbs

Africa in Oklahoma is a vast, sprawling savanna of suburbs, where rows of identical houses stretch as far as the eye can see. It's the perfect place to get lost in a sea of beige and boredom.

The Great Lion Migration to the Big City

Urbanization has hit Africa in Oklahoma hard. Lions have abandoned their savanna homes in droves, migrating to the bright lights and skyscrapers of Oklahoma City. They've traded their hunting instincts for careers in banking and real estate.

The Plight of the Endangered Okie Buffalo

Once a proud symbol of the Great Plains, the Okie buffalo has become an endangered species in Oklahoma. Their grazing grounds have been replaced by sprawling shopping malls and oil rigs. Sad, but also kind of funny, in a twisted way.

The Rise of the Africanized Honey Bee

Beware the Africanized honey bees of Oklahoma! These tiny creatures are a force to be reckoned with, their stings so potent that they can send even the toughest cowboy running for cover. It's like a swarm of angry, buzzing pepper spray.

The Majestic Baobab Tree in the Walmart Parking Lot

Africa in Oklahoma has its own version of the iconic baobab tree, but you'll find it in the parking lot of the local Walmart. Its branches stretch towards the heavens, providing shade to shoppers who've gotten lost in the endless aisles of cheap goods.

Expand Your Pithy Vocabulary

Let's expand our vocabulary with some pithy gems related to CBS: in Oklahoma and Africa:

• Sezhuaning: When someone's cooking is so spicy, it resembles the fiery savannas of Africa.
• Giraffing: When you're trying to reach something that's just out of your reach, like a giraffe's neck.
• Okielionization: The transformative process by which a lion gives up its wild ways and embraces the suburban lifestyle.

Conclusive Summary:

CBS: in Oklahoma is a satirical wonderland where the absurdities of Africa meet the peculiar charm of the Sooner State. It's a hilarious and snarky journey that pokes fun at the incongruities that make the world such a ridiculously entertaining place. So, gather your sense of humor, buckle up, and prepare for a wild ride through the vast, sprawling savanna of Oklahoma's African adventures.