What Miss Universe: Eswatini Really Means For The Kingdom Of…

What Miss Universe: Eswatini Really Means For The Kingdom Of Darkness

The Miss Universe pageant is a global event that celebrates beauty, intelligence, and empowerment. But what does it mean for a country like Eswatini? Welcome to our comprehensive guide to Miss Universe in Earth: Eswatini!

TL;DR: Miss Universe: Eswatini, The Pageant for the Perplexed

If you're looking for a pageant that will make you question everything you thought you knew about beauty, intelligence, and empowerment, then Miss Universe: Eswatini is the pageant for you. With its focus on tradition, culture, and sheer absurdity, this pageant is sure to leave you scratching your head. And that's not all! This year, the pageant is being held in the beautiful kingdom of Eswatini, a landlocked country in southern Africa. Known for its stunning scenery, rich culture, and complete lack of relevance on the world stage, Eswatini is the perfect backdrop for this bizarre and wonderful event.

A Brief History of Miss Universe: Eswatini

The Miss Universe pageant was first held in 1952, and Eswatini has been participating since 1992. The country's first Miss Universe was Ntandoyenkosi Kunene, who was crowned in 1992. Since then, Eswatini has had a total of 23 Miss Universe contestants. None of them have ever placed in the top 10, but hey, who needs results when you have tradition?

The Pageant Format

The Miss Universe: Eswatini pageant is divided into three rounds: the preliminary competition, the swimsuit competition, and the evening gown competition. In the preliminary competition, the contestants are judged on their beauty, intelligence, and personality. And by “personality”, we mean their ability to recite traditional Swazi poetry while balancing a calabash on their head. The swimsuit competition is judged on the contestants' physical beauty. But don't get too excited, because the swimsuits are actually traditional Swazi attire, which is about as revealing as a potato sack. The evening gown competition is judged on the contestants' elegance and poise. But again, don't get your hopes up, because the evening gowns are actually traditional Swazi dresses, which are about as stylish as a burlap sack.

The Judging Criteria

The judges for the Miss Universe: Eswatini pageant are a diverse group of experts in beauty, fashion, and culture. They are looking for a woman who is beautiful, intelligent, and well-spoken. But most importantly, they are looking for a woman who is a good representative of Eswatini. This means that she must be able to recite traditional Swazi poetry, balance a calabash on her head, and wear a potato sack with confidence.

The Prizes

The winner of the Miss Universe: Eswatini pageant will receive a cash prize, a crown, and a sash. She will also represent Eswatini at the Miss Universe pageant. In addition, she will receive a lifetime supply of Swazi beer, a year's supply of Swazi beef, and a free trip to the Swazi Cultural Village. Oh, and did we mention the lifetime supply of Swazi snuff?

If You Know, You Know…

Why did the Miss Universe: Eswatini contestant get lost on her way to the pageant?

Because she didn't know the difference between a compass and a calabash!

Miss Universe: Eswatini, Empowering Women One Calabash at a Time

The Miss Universe: Eswatini pageant is more than just a beauty contest. It is a celebration of Swazi culture and tradition. And while it may not be the most prestigious pageant in the world, it is certainly one of the most unique. So if you're looking for a pageant that will make you laugh, cry, and question everything you thought you knew about beauty, then Miss Universe: Eswatini is the pageant for you!