Wokeness: In Colorado, Dating & Other Dumb Ideas In The…

Wokeness: in Colorado, Dating & Other Dumb Ideas

In the socially conscious realm of Colorado, where rainbows dance and pronouns reign supreme, navigating the treacherous waters of dating has become an art form – or perhaps a comedy of errors. From the “woke” to the clueless, we dive into the absurdities that plague the dating scene in our beloved Centennial State.

TL;DR: How to Date in a Woke Colorado:

• Pick your pronouns wisely: They're not just accessories, folks!
• Don't ask about someone's “preference”: It's not a McDonald's order.
• Avoid “mansplaining”: Unless you want to become the next Kevin Spacey.
• Swipe right on the activists: They're the ones with signs and picket lines.
• Join a “woke” yoga class: Find your Zen and your match made in downward dog.

Section 1: The Woke Dating Scene

Colorado's dating scene is a kaleidoscope of quirkiness, where every other bio reads like a social justice warrior's manifesto. Terms like “intersectionality,” “decolonize your mind,” and “queer liberation” are as common as a Starbucks on every corner.

Section 2: Choose Your Pronouns Carefully

In this brave new world of gender fluidity, first impressions aren't just about your outfit – it's about your pronouns. Misgender someone, and you might as well have burned a rainbow flag. From she/her to he/him to they/them, it's a pronoun party out there, and you'd better RSVP.

Section 3: Avoid the “Preference” Trap

Don't be that clueless person who asks about someone's “preference.” Seriously, it's like walking into a vegan restaurant and asking for a steak. Just let people love who they love without labels. Remember, it's not your business unless they're offering a threesome.

Section 4: Maneuver the Minefield of “Mansplaining”

For the love of all that is woke, don't mansplain. If you're a straight white male and you're about to tell a queer woman how to live her life, just stop. No one asked for your opinion, and it's not your place to give it. Unless you're a doctor or a therapist (in which case, why are you even dating?), keep your unsolicited advice to yourself.

Section 5: Swipe Right on Activists

If you're tired of dating boring, vanilla people, spice things up with an activist. These folks are passionate, they're driven, and they have fantastic picket lines. Just make sure you're not just trying to get your hands on their foam finger collection.

Section 6: Find Your Zen at Woke Yoga

Move over, hot yoga. There's a new kid on the block: woke yoga. It's where you downward dog and discuss the patriarchy. It's where you chaturanga and chant for racial justice. And it's where you might just meet your soulmate while getting into a perfect triangle.

Section 7: Other Dumb Colorado Dating Ideas

• Attend a vegan potluck: Embrace the crunchy side of dating while nibbling on tofu tacos and kale smoothies.
• Go on a protest date: Nothing says “I care about you” like chanting “End corporate greed” together.
• Do a social justice scavenger hunt: Travel around town solving clues and learning about local causes.
• Attend a drag queen bingo night: Support the LGBTQIA+ community while playing bingo in a fabulous atmosphere.

If You Know, You Know…

What do you call a woke person on a blind date? An intersectional avocado.

The Woke Dating Mecca of Colorado: A Pithy Synthesis

In the hallowed halls of Colorado's dating scene, “woke” is not just a trend – it's a lifestyle. It's about embracing diversity, challenging stereotypes, and making the world a more inclusive place. But don't forget, even in the most woke of settings, there's always room for a little bit of humor. So, go forth, dear readers, and navigate the dating scene with a touch of woke humor. You might just find your perfect match while fighting the good fight.

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