Wyoming’s Tech Trough: A Sarcastic Guide to the Silicon Valley…

Wyoming's Tech Trough: A Sarcastic Guide to the Silicon Valley of the West

TL;DR: Wyoming's Tech Trough is a hilarious oxymoron that highlights the state's lack of tech prowess. Despite its claims, Wyoming has failed to attract major tech companies or foster a thriving startup scene due to a myriad of factors, including geography, culture, and a lack of skilled talent.

Geography: The Great Equalizer

One would think that being in the middle of nowhere would be a natural advantage for a tech hub. After all, it's not like tech companies need access to customers or infrastructure, right? Well, think again, Wyoming! Its remote location makes it difficult to attract and retain employees, who prefer urban centers with vibrant nightlife and amenities. Unless you're into stargazing and tumbleweed dodging, Wyoming's not your scene.

Culture: Yeehaw vs. Silicon

Wyoming's cowboy culture is as far removed from the techie lifestyle as a horse-drawn buggy is from a Tesla. The state's rugged individualism and aversion to regulation don't exactly align with the collaborative and innovative spirit of Silicon Valley. Techies prefer rainbow pride flags to rodeo flags, and Laramie's pitiful attempts at a gay bar can't compare to the LGBTQIA+ mecca of San Francisco.

Brain Drain: The Missing Link

Wyoming's education system ranks near the bottom nationally, making it a poor source of skilled tech talent. The state's universities lack the resources and reputation to attract top students in STEM fields. Even if they did, most graduates flee to greener pastures, where they can earn more money and advance their careers without having to deal with Wyoming's freezing winters and lack of decent broadband.

False Promises: The Tech Trough Mirage

Wyoming's government has made a pathetic attempt to jump on the tech bandwagon, offering tax breaks and incentives to attract tech companies. Unfortunately, these efforts have fallen flat. Why? Because words can't mask reality, and Wyoming's underlying problems make it an unappealing destination for techies.

Tech Trough Follies

• Google Fiber Nightmare: Google Fiber promised to bring lightning-fast internet to Cheyenne, but the project was abandoned after it became clear that the infrastructure costs were too high. Talk about false advertising!
• Cheyenne Innovation Center: This taxpayer-funded tech incubator has failed to produce any notable startups. It's like an empty office building with a fancy name.
• University of Wyoming Tech Park: Despite its name, this park is barren of tech companies. It's the tech equivalent of the Sahara Desert.

If You Know, You Know…

What do you call a tech company in Wyoming?

…A mirage.

Wyoming's Path to Tech Success: A Pipe Dream

If Wyoming wants to become a tech hub, it needs a complete overhaul. It needs to invest heavily in education, create a more welcoming culture, and improve its infrastructure. But let's be honest, that's not going to happen. Wyoming's politicians are too busy fighting over coal and guns to care about tech, and its residents are too content with their cowboy lifestyle. So, for the foreseeable future, Wyoming's Tech Trough will remain a source of amusement for the tech-savvy world, a reminder that not every state can be a tech paradise.

Expansive Summary: Wyoming's Tech Trough – The State That Couldn't Tech

Wyoming's Tech Trough is a stark reminder that not all states are created equal when it comes to tech. Despite its geographical isolation, cultural misalignment, and lack of skilled talent, Wyoming has desperately tried to become a tech hub, with disastrous results.

From failed fiber optic projects to empty tech incubators, Wyoming's efforts have been nothing short of comical. The state's politicians and business leaders have been like frogs trying to leap into the tech pond, only to fall flat on their bellies.

Until Wyoming undergoes a fundamental transformation, its Tech Trough will remain a cautionary tale for other states that dare to dream of becoming the next Silicon Valley. In the meantime, let's enjoy the show and watch as Wyoming continues its futile attempts to join the ranks of the tech elite.