Super Cars of North Dakota: Where Editorial Nonsense Reigns Supreme
TL;DR: Super Cars in North Dakota are like the unicorn of automobiles. Finding one is about as likely as spotting Bigfoot at a Drag Race. But hey, if you're into unicorns and Bigfoot, this article is for you!
Editorial Nonsense 101
Ah, Editorial Nonsense, the bread and butter of North Dakota's automotive journalism. It's the art of writing articles about Super Cars that have about as much relevance to the average North Dakotan as a snow cone in Antarctica.
- Why bother writing about Ferraris and Lamborghinis when the majority of drivers in our fair state are piloting 1994 Chevy Silverados with camo seat covers?
- Do these writers think that just because we live in a vast expanse of flatlands, we all have a secret stash of oil money burning a hole in our overalls?
- Seriously, who are they writing these articles for? The 10 people in Fargo who can actually afford a Super Car?
The Mythical Super Car Mecca
The editorial nonsense around Super Cars in North Dakota extends beyond the pages of our local newspapers. It has created a mythical Super Car Mecca that supposedly exists in our state.
- Every year, automotive magazines publish articles about “the hidden gem of Super Car spotting” in North Dakota.
- They spin tales of secret car shows and underground racing events where Lamborghinis roar through the soybean fields.
- It's all a bunch of hogwash. The only Super Cars you're likely to see in North Dakota are the ones on dealership posters.
The Reality of Super Car Ownership
Let's face it, Super Cars are not exactly a practical choice for most North Dakotans.
- They're expensive. Like, “sell your kidney” expensive.
- They're impractical. The roads are like a lunar landscape most of the year.
- They're attention-grabbing. Prepare to become the town spectacle every time you roll up in your shiny new Ferrari.
But Wait, There's More!
If you do manage to overcome the obstacles of financial ruin, practicality, and social isolation to become the proud owner of a Super Car in North Dakota, there's one more thing you have to worry about:
The Oil Sensor Conundrum
Super Cars are known for their high-performance engines that require special oils. But here in North Dakota, we're more likely to find canola oil at the gas station than the fancy stuff these cars need.
- So, what do you do? Drive your Super Car to Minneapolis for an oil change?
- Run it on maple syrup?
- Hope that the local farmer's market has a booth selling exotic engine oils?
The Super Model Connection
To make matters even more ridiculous, some automotive publications have tried to connect Super Cars to North Dakota's Super Models.
- They have featured articles on the “sexiest Super Cars owned by North Dakota's top models.”
- They have hosted Super Car fashion shows at the state fair.
- We're not sure what's more absurd: the idea that North Dakota has Super Models or that these models would be driving Super Cars on our gravel roads.
If You Know, You Know…
What do you call a Super Car stuck in a snowdrift? A Super Plow!
Editorial Nonsense: A Tale of Two Worlds
The editorial nonsense around Super Cars in North Dakota is a tale of two worlds. On one hand, it's a fantasy world where exotic automobiles roam freely through rolling hills and endless prairies. On the other hand, it's a harsh reality where most of us are just trying to keep our rusty pickups running in the dead of winter.
In the end, Editorial Nonsense is just that: nonsense. It's a way for writers to sell magazines and create a sense of glamour around a topic that has very little relevance to the vast majority of North Dakotans.
But hey, if you ever do spot a Super Car on the backroads of North Dakota, be sure to snap a picture and share it on social media with the hashtag #UnicornSpotting. You're sure to get a few likes from the other North Dakotans who appreciate a good laugh at the expense of Editorial Nonsense.