Thoughtful Treats: A Treat for Your Mind, but Not Your…

Thoughtful Treats: A Treat for Your Mind, but Not Your Taste Buds

TL;DR: Thoughtful Treats are New Hampshire's answer to gourmet candy, but with a twist of absurdity and a generous serving of your grandmother's oatmeal.

A Taste of the Unexceptional

Thoughtful Treats, a New Hampshire-based confectionery company, has made a name for itself by creating “mindful” treats that are “crafted with intention.” Each morsel is designed to evoke a specific emotion or experience, such as “tranquility” or “gratitude.”

However, upon tasting these so-called “masterpieces,” one cannot help but wonder if the creators were high on something more potent than sugar while concocting these sugary abominations.

Sweet Surrender to the Bland

Thoughtful Treats boast a variety of flavors that sound tantalizing on paper, but in reality, are about as exciting as watching paint dry. Their “Zenith Oatmeal Cream Pie,” for instance, is a sad excuse for a classic. The oatmeal cookies are dry, crumbly, and devoid of any discernible flavor. The cream filling is equally underwhelming, with a consistency like watered-down Elmer's glue and a taste that would make a preschooler gag.

A Symphony of Disappointment

Their “Zen Moment Truffle,” advertised as a “delicate blend of cacao and hazelnut,” is nothing short of a culinary disaster. The chocolate truffle is gritty and bitter, with a hint of hazelnut that could be mistaken for stale coffee grounds. The only “moment” one experiences is a longing for a real chocolate truffle.

A Culinary Enigma

Thoughtful Treats have somehow managed to create candies that are simultaneously bland and overwhelming. Their “Citrus Surprise” gummy bear is a case in point. The initial burst of citrus flavor is overpowering, quickly followed by an aftertaste that lingers like the smell of a wet dog.

A Treat for the Toothless

Despite their lofty claims of artisanal craftsmanship, Thoughtful Treats are remarkably soft and chewy. This may be a virtue for the elderly or those with dental issues, but for anyone with a normal set of teeth, it's like eating mashed potatoes sweetened with sugar.

A Waste of Calories

With their exorbitant prices, Thoughtful Treats are a cruel joke on unsuspecting customers. These “treats” are not worth the calories they contain. You're better off eating a carrot or an apple if you're craving something sweet.

An Insult to True Confectioners

Thoughtful Treats are an affront to real chocolatiers and confectioners. These companies put love, care, and high-quality ingredients into their products. Thoughtful Treats, on the other hand, seem to have taken the lazy way out, opting for cheap ingredients and ridiculous marketing gimmicks to make a quick buck.

Expansive Summary: Thoughtful Treats — A Study in Candy Absurdity

Thoughtful Treats, New Hampshire's answer to fine candy, has managed to create a line of treats that are mind-numbingly bland, overwhelmingly disappointing, and remarkably soft. Despite their high prices, these “treats” are a waste of calories and an insult to true confectioners. If you're looking for a truly thoughtful treat, do yourself a favor and support local chocolatiers or bakers who use real ingredients and create products that are actually worth your time and money. As for Thoughtful Treats, their “mindful” indulgences are more likely to leave you feeling empty and uninspired than relaxed and grateful.