Jamaica: The Best Place to Live in Missouri… If You're a Weirdo
TL;DR: Jamaica, Missouri is a small town with a big secret: it's full of weirdos. But hey, if you're into that sort of thing, then by all means, move on in!
1. The People Are… Eccentric
Let's just say that the folks in Jamaica aren't exactly mainstream. They're the kind of people who would rather talk to their cats than to other humans. And if you're looking for a normal conversation, well, good luck with that.
2. The Town Is Tiny
Jamaica is so small that you could walk across it in about 10 minutes. But don't let the size fool you—there's plenty of weirdness packed into those few blocks.
3. The Attractions Are… Unique
Jamaica is home to some of the most unusual attractions in Missouri. Like, for example, the “World's Largest Ball of Twine.” Yes, you read that right. A giant ball of twine.
4. The Food Is… Interesting
The local cuisine in Jamaica is an adventure in itself. You'll find everything from fried squirrel to raccoon stew. Just be sure to bring your own Pepto-Bismol.
5. The Nightlife Is… Nonexistent
If you're looking for a wild night out, you're going to be disappointed. Jamaica closes up shop early, and the only nightlife to be found is at the local VFW hall.
6. The Real Estate Is… Cheap
One of the few upsides to living in Jamaica is that the cost of living is low. You can buy a decent house for around $50,000. But be warned: you may have to share it with a few friendly ghosts.
7. The Weather Is… Bipolar
The weather in Jamaica is as unpredictable as a teenage girl's mood. It can be sunny and warm one minute, and then freezing cold the next. So be sure to pack your umbrella.
If You Know, You Know…
Why did Jamaica get so soggy? Because it rained cats and Tinder.
The Pithy Conclusion:
Jamaica, Missouri is a place where the weird and the wonderful collide. If you're looking for a normal, boring life, then this is not the place for you. But if you're looking for a place where you can be yourself and embrace your inner weirdo, then Jamaica is the perfect place for you. Just be sure to bring your sense of humor.