The Absurdity of Theatre: A Sarcastic Exploration
TL;DR: Theatre is the ultimate contradiction: a land of make-believe that takes itself way too seriously. With its pretentious actors, bizarre plots, and absurd costumes, it's a hilarious spectacle that makes a mockery of human emotions.
The Cult of thespians
These self-proclaimed “artists” preen and preen, as if they're gracing us mere mortals with their superior talent. They have their own special language, full of jargon and hyperbole that makes us wonder if they're speaking English at all. And let's not forget their sacred rituals: worshipping at the altar of Shakespeare and spending hours memorizing lines that will probably never be heard outside the rehearsal hall.
The Anatomy of a Nonsensical Plot
Have you ever been to a play where the plot made so little sense that you started questioning your own sanity? Don't worry, you're not alone. Theatre thrives on convoluted storylines, unmotivated characters, and deus ex machinas that would make a telenovela blush. One minute, Romeo and Juliet are falling head over heels for each other, and the next, they're dead because of a misunderstanding that could have been solved with a single phone call.
Wardrobe Malfunctions and Costume Disasters
Theatre is a breeding ground for fashion catastrophes. From actors tripping over their flowing gowns to costumes that would make a clown blush, there's always something going wrong in the wardrobe department. And don't even get us started on the wigs. They're either too tight, too loose, or styled so badly that they make the actors look like they stepped out of a bad 80s movie.
The Power of Suspension of Disbelief
Theatre demands that we suspend our disbelief and accept the most ridiculous scenarios as if they were real. We have to believe that a man dressed as a woman is actually a woman, that a tree is a person, and that a cardboard box is a spaceship. And if we dare to question any of these absurdities, we're labeled as “uneducated” or “unappreciative.”
The Importance of Pretension
In the world of theatre, the more pretentious you are, the better. Actors must pout, preen, and deliver their lines with an air of exaggerated grandeur. They're not just performers; they're artists. They're not just telling a story; they're creating a work of art. And they expect to be fawned over and applauded for their brilliance, even when they're delivering a monologue that sounds like a bad college essay.
The Amateur Hour
Community theatre is where the real absurdity begins. Here, you'll find actors of all ages and skill levels, from seasoned professionals to stage-struck grandmothers. The result is a smorgasbord of overacting, underacting, and general chaos. But hey, at least it's cheap entertainment.
If You Know, You Know…
Why did the Mississippi Theatre Company cancel their production of “Romeo and Juliet”?
Because they couldn't find two actors who didn't know each other's parents.
Concluding Commentary
Theatre is a strange and wonderful beast. It's a place where the absurd and the profound collide, where make-believe is celebrated and reality is ignored. It's a land of endless possibilities, but also a hotbed of pretension and self-importance. So, the next time you find yourself at a theatre, don't take it too seriously. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Or the lack thereof.
