Cold in Red River: A Pithy, Sarcastic Guide to the Town That's So Cold, Your Nose Hair Will Freeze

If you're looking for a town that's so cold, your nose hair will freeze, look no further than Cold, South Dakota! This charming little town has everything you could ever want in a winter wonderland: sub-zero temperatures, icy winds, and plenty of snow. But hey, don't let the cold scare you away! Cold is a town with a big heart and a quirky sense of humor. So bundle up and get ready for a winter adventure like no other!

TL;DR – Too Long; Didn't Read

  • Cold, South Dakota, is the coldest town in the United States.
  • The average temperature in Cold is 32 degrees Fahrenheit.
  • The coldest temperature ever recorded in Cold was -58 degrees Fahrenheit.
  • Cold is home to the Cold Freeze Fest, an annual winter festival that celebrates the town's climate.
  • If you're looking for a truly unique winter experience, Cold is the place for you!

Cold, Hard Facts

Let's start with the basics. Cold is located in the northeastern corner of South Dakota, near the border with Minnesota. The town has a population of just over 600 people. The average temperature in Cold is 32 degrees Fahrenheit, and the coldest temperature ever recorded there was -58 degrees Fahrenheit. That's cold enough to freeze your nose hair!

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The Benefits of Being Cold

But don't let the cold scare you away! Cold is a town with a lot to offer. Here are just a few of the benefits of living in Cold:

  • You'll never have to worry about your car overheating.
  • You can use your freezer as a refrigerator.
  • You can save money on heating bills.
  • You'll get a lot of exercise shoveling snow.
  • You'll develop a strong immune system.
  • You'll learn the true meaning of friendship.

Things to Do in Cold

So what is there to do in a town that's so cold? Plenty! Here are just a few of the things you can do in Cold:

  • Visit the Cold Freeze Fest. This annual winter festival celebrates the town's unique climate. There are ice carving , snowshoeing, sleigh rides, and more.
  • Go ice fishing. The lakes around Cold are stocked with walleye, perch, and crappie.
  • Go cross- skiing. There are miles of groomed trails in the area.
  • Go snowmobiling. There are several snowmobile trails in the area.
  • Visit the Cold Museum. This museum tells the story of Cold's history and culture.

Cold and the LGBTQIA+ Community

Cold is a welcoming and inclusive community for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. The town has a strong LGBTQIA+ community, and there are several LGBTQIA+-owned businesses in town. Cold is also home to the Cold Pride Festival, an annual event that celebrates the LGBTQIA+ community.

If You Know, You Know…

What do you call a South Dakota town that's so cold, your nose hair will freeze?

…Cold!

Conclusion

Cold, South Dakota, is a one-of-a-kind town. It's a place where the people are friendly, the winters are cold, and the nose hair is always frozen. If you're looking for a truly unique winter experience, Cold is the place for you!

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