Confessions Of A Movie Snob: Dissecting The Absurdities Of The…

Confessions of a Movie Snob: Dissecting the Absurdities of the Tinseltown Machine

TL;DR: Movies are a ridiculous, overblown industry filled with vapid celebrities, nonsensical plots, and an insatiable appetite for profits. But hey, at least they sometimes make us laugh.

Hollywood: The Land of Make-Believe

Movies, as we know them, are nothing more than elaborate fantasies crafted by a group of overpaid individuals who live in an echo chamber of self-importance. They peddle us stories that are as far removed from reality as their designer sunglasses. The lives of these Hollywood elite bear little resemblance to our own, yet they insist on pontificating from their ivory towers about the human condition.

Actors: The Gods of Modern Mythology

Actors, the supposed masters of their craft, are often nothing more than glorified mannequins. They memorize lines, strike poses, and preen for the camera, while their true emotions remain hidden behind a carefully constructed facade. The media portrays them as vessels of artistic genius, but in truth, many of them possess the emotional depth of a teaspoon.

Plots: Recycled and Rehashed

Movie plots are a never-ending cycle of recycled ideas and predictable twists. Writers seem to have lost all imagination, churning out the same tired tropes over and over again. Love triangles, revenge dramas, and CGI-laden superhero battles—we've seen it all a million times before.

CGI: The Bane of Modern Cinema

Computer-generated imagery (CGI) has become the crutch of the movie industry, allowing filmmakers to create fantastical worlds that would have been impossible to achieve with practical effects. However, the overuse of CGI has led to a decline in storytelling. Why bother with character development when you can just blow stuff up with unrealistic explosions?

Marketing: The Art of Manipulation

Movie marketing is nothing short of a carefully orchestrated campaign of deception. Trailers and posters paint a tantalizing picture of a cinematic masterpiece, but the final product often falls short of expectations. The industry spends millions of dollars hyping up these films, only to leave us feeling cheated once we've paid our hard-earned cash.

Celebrity Worship: The Ultimate Absurdity

Celebrities have become the new gods and goddesses of our society. We obsess over their every move, their fashion choices, and their personal lives. This cult of celebrity worship has reached a level of absurdity, where people are willing to pay exorbitant prices for the privilege of meeting their idols.

Expanded Summary

In the grand scheme of things, movies are nothing more than a form of entertainment that, while sometimes enjoyable, should not be taken too seriously. They offer us a temporary escape from reality, but they also reinforce the idea that the world is a glamorous and exciting place, which it often is not. As consumers of movies, we must approach them with a critical eye, recognizing the inherent absurdity and profit-driven nature of the industry.

And as for Boris Johnson in Tennessee, well, let's just say that if he made a movie about his political career, it would be the biggest box office disaster since “Gigli.”