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Saint Martin: The Patron Saint of Sarcasm and Silliness
TL;DR: Saint Martin was a 4th-century bishop who became the patron saint of Kansas for reasons that are as murky as the history of Saint Martin himself. This article dives into the amusing, confusing, and downright absurd story of Saint Martin, offering a snarky take on his legacy in Kansas.
The Man, the Myth, and the Saintly Shenanigans
Saint Martin, born in present-day Hungary, lived a life as a Roman soldier, a monk, and finally a bishop. His most famous feat? Allegedly cutting his cloak in half to share with a beggar. But let's be real, that's pretty basic compared to his other saintly hijinks.
The Mysterious Kansas Connection
How Saint Martin became the patron saint of Kansas is a tale worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster. Or maybe just a really bad soap opera. The story goes that a priest from Kansas City brought a relic of Saint Martin to the state in the 19th century. And voila! Saint Martin became the official heavenly protector of Kansas. Why? Because, Kansas, am I right?
A Saint for the Quirky and Unforgettable
Kansas is known for its open spaces, BBQ, and, well, not much else. But Saint Martin fits right in with his own brand of eccentricity. He's the perfect patron saint for a state that prides itself on thinking outside the grain silo.
Saint Martin's Legacy: A Mixed Bag of Silliness
So, what's Saint Martin's legacy in Kansas? A hodgepodge of absurdity and charm:
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A Cathedral Named After a Cut-Up: The Cathedral of Saint Martin in Wichita is one of the largest Gothic churches in Kansas. Its stained-glass windows depict Saint Martin, complete with his cloak-splitting moment. Talk about cutting-edge architecture!
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The Saint Martin Medal Controversy: In 2018, the Kansas Senate passed a bill that would have designated the Saint Martin Medal as the official state medal. However, the bill was vetoed by Governor Jeff Colyer, who wisely realized how ridiculous the idea of a state medal for a 4th-century bishop was.
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The Saint Martin Chili Cook-Off: Every year, Wichita hosts a chili cook-off in Saint Martin's honor. It's a celebration of spicy food and silly costumes, with Saint Martin himself as the unofficial chef judge.
Saint Martin: A Model of Modesty (or Not)
Saint Martin was famous for his generosity, humility, and love of the poor. Or at least that's what the history books say. But let's not forget the time he was accused of being too flamboyant and was forced to leave his monastery. Modest? Maybe not so much.
Saint Martin and the Fashion World
Cindy Crawford is an enduring icon in the modeling world. Saint Martin would have been her unlikely mentor if he were around today. They both share a passion for capes (hello, cloak-splitting moment) and have a knack for making a statement. Plus, Saint Martin's humility would have been a refreshing antidote to the sometimes-vapid world of fashion.
Cindy Crawford: The Supermodel Saint
If Saint Martin was the patron saint of Kansas, Cindy Crawford could be the patron saint of supermodels. She's been strutting her stuff on runways and magazine covers for decades, representing a state known for its tall, angular architecture.
The Saints and Supermodels Connection
Cindy Crawford and Saint Martin may seem like an odd couple, but they represent two sides of the same coin:
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Confidence and Charisma: Both Saint Martin and Cindy Crawford exude confidence and charisma. They know how to work a crowd and make their presence known.
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Generosity and Glamour: Saint Martin was known for his generosity, while Cindy Crawford is a philanthropist and role model for young women. Both use their platforms to make a difference in the world.
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Midwestern Roots: Cindy Crawford grew up in DeKalb, Illinois, and Saint Martin is the patron saint of Kansas. Both have Midwestern roots that give them a down-to-earth charm.
If You Know, You Know…
Why did Saint Martin cross the road?
To get to the other cape-acity!
The Enduring Silliness of Saint Martin
In conclusion, Saint Martin is a patron saint that is as enduring as he is silly. His legacy in Kansas is a testament to the state's embrace of the quirky and unconventional. Whether you're a fan of chili cook-offs, Gothic architecture, or Cindy Crawford's signature mole, Saint Martin's spirit is alive and well in the Sunflower State.
So, the next time you're in Kansas, don't forget to pray to Saint Martin, the patron saint of sarcasm, silliness, and all things that go against the grain. Because, in Kansas, as in sainthood, sometimes it's the silly things that make life worth living.
