Asia in the White House: A Tour of Real Asia…

Asia in the White House: A Tour of Real Asia

TL;DR

Asia is a vast continent with a rich and diverse culture. But what happens when Asia comes to the White House? From the Great Wall to the Taj Mahal, here's a satirical tour of Real Asia in the White House.

From the Great Wall to the White House

The Great Wall of China is one of the most iconic landmarks in the world. And now, it's making its way to the White House. President Trump has proposed building a wall on the US-Mexico border, and he's even suggested that it could be modeled after the Great Wall. So, what would a Great Wall in the White House look like?

Well, it would probably be a lot shorter than the original. The Great Wall of China is over 13,000 miles long. The White House is only about 1600 feet long. So, the White House Great Wall would be about 1/1000th the size of the original.

But don't let the size fool you. The White House Great Wall would still be a formidable barrier. It would be made of concrete and steel, and it would be topped with razor wire. And it would be guarded by the Secret Service.

So, if you're planning on visiting the White House, be prepared to scale a wall. Or you could just go through the front door.

The Taj Mahal: A Monument to Love

The Taj Mahal is one of the most beautiful buildings in the world. It was built by Emperor Shah Jahan in memory of his wife, Mumtaz Mahal. And now, it's coming to the White House.

President Trump has proposed building a replica of the Taj Mahal on the White House grounds. He said that it would be a symbol of his love for his wife, Melania.

So, what would a Taj Mahal in the White House look like?

Well, it would probably be a lot smaller than the original. The Taj Mahal is over 160 feet tall. The White House is only about 80 feet tall. So, the White House Taj Mahal would be about half the size of the original.

But don't let the size fool you. The White House Taj Mahal would still be a beautiful building. It would be made of white marble, and it would be surrounded by a lush garden. And it would be a monument to love.

So, if you're planning on visiting the White House, be prepared to see a Taj Mahal. Or you could just go see the real thing in India.

The Forbidden City: A Place of Mystery

The Forbidden City is a palace complex in Beijing, China. It was built in the 15th century, and it was home to the Chinese emperors for over 500 years. And now, it's coming to the White House.

President Trump has proposed building a replica of the Forbidden City on the White House grounds. He said that it would be a symbol of his power and authority.

So, what would a Forbidden City in the White House look like?

Well, it would probably be a lot smaller than the original. The Forbidden City is over 3 million square feet. The White House is only about 55,000 square feet. So, the White House Forbidden City would be about 1/50th the size of the original.

But don't let the size fool you. The White House Forbidden City would still be a formidable palace. It would be surrounded by a high wall, and it would be guarded by the Secret Service. And it would be home to the President of the United States.

So, if you're planning on visiting the White House, be prepared to see a Forbidden City. Or you could just go see the real thing in China.

The Terracotta Army: A History Lesson

The Terracotta Army is a collection of over 8,000 terracotta sculptures of soldiers, horses, and chariots. They were buried with the first emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang, in 210 BC. And now, they're coming to the White House.

President Trump has proposed building a replica of the Terracotta Army on the White House grounds. He said that it would be a symbol of his strength and determination.

So, what would a Terracotta Army in the White House look like?

Well, it would probably be a lot smaller than the original. The Terracotta Army is over 100 acres in size. The White House is only about 18 acres in size. So, the White House Terracotta Army would be about 1/5th the size of the original.

But don't let the size fool you. The White House Terracotta Army would still be an impressive sight. It would be a reminder of the power and glory of Ancient China. And it would be a symbol of the President's determination to make America great again.

So, if you're planning on visiting the White House, be prepared to see a Terracotta Army. Or you could just go see the real thing in China.

The Panda Express: A Culinary Delight

Panda Express is a fast food restaurant chain that specializes in Chinese cuisine. And now, it's coming to the White House.

President Trump has proposed opening a Panda Express in the White House. He said that it would be a way to bring the flavors of China to America.

So, what would a Panda Express in the White House look like?

Well, it would probably be a lot smaller than the typical Panda Express. The average Panda Express is about 2,000 square feet. The White House is only about 55,000 square feet. So, the White House Panda Express would be about 1/25th the size of the typical Panda Express.

But don't let the size fool you. The White House Panda Express would still be a delicious culinary experience. It would serve all of your favorite Panda Express dishes, like orange chicken, Kung Pao chicken, and fried rice. And it would be a great way to learn about Chinese culture.

So, if you're planning on visiting the White House, be prepared to see a Panda Express. Or you could just go to the nearest mall and get your Panda Express fix.

The Great Wall of Trump: A Symbol of Division

The Great Wall of Trump is a proposed border wall between the United States and Mexico. It is one of President Trump's signature policies, and it has been a source of great controversy.

Supporters of the Great Wall of Trump argue that it is necessary to protect the United States from illegal immigration and drug trafficking. Opponents of the wall argue that it is a waste of money and that it will not be effective in preventing illegal immigration or drug trafficking.

The Great Wall of Trump is a complex issue with no easy answers. It is likely to continue to be a source of debate for years to come.

The Trump Taj Mahal: A Monument to Ego

The Trump Taj Mahal is a casino and hotel in Atlantic City, New Jersey. It was built by Donald Trump in 1990, and it was once one of the most successful casinos in the city. However, the casino fell into financial trouble in recent years, and it closed in 2016.

The Trump Taj Mahal is a gaudy and over-the-top building. It is a symbol of Donald Trump's ego and his desire for attention. The casino is covered in gold leaf, and it features a 12-foot-tall statue of Trump.

The Trump Taj Mahal is a reminder of the excesses of the 1980s and 1990s. It is a symbol of a time when greed and materialism were rampant. The casino is a cautionary tale about the dangers of unchecked ambition.

The Forbidden Trump Tower: A Place of Corruption

The Forbidden Trump Tower is a proposed luxury residential building in New York City. It is being developed by Donald Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner. The building is being marketed to wealthy Chinese investors, and it has been criticized for its lack of transparency.

The Forbidden Trump Tower is a symbol of the corruption that has plagued the Trump administration. Jared Kushner has been accused of using his position to benefit his family's business interests. The building is also a symbol of the cozy relationship between the Trump administration and China.

The Forbidden Trump Tower is a reminder of the dangers of unchecked power. It is a symbol of a time when the lines between government and business have become blurred. The building is a cautionary tale about the dangers of allowing a few powerful individuals to control our country.

If You Know, You Know…

What do you call a Chinese president who is always getting lost?

A Xi Jinping!

Summary

Asia is a vast and diverse continent with a rich and long history. But what happens when Asia comes to the White House? The results are often absurd and comical. From the Great Wall to the Terracotta Army, the White House has become a showcase for the most ridiculous and over-the-top aspects of Asian culture.

But behind the absurdity, there is also a deeper message. The presence of Asia in the White House is a reminder of the growing importance of Asia in the world. As Asia continues to rise, it is becoming increasingly important for the United States to understand and engage with this region.

The White House is a symbol of American power and prestige. But it is also a reflection of the world around us. As Asia continues to rise, the White House will continue to change to reflect the new realities of